A Spirited Child

My name is Rachel, and I am a Spirited Child. Yes, this is hard to admit, but true.
I am now paying for all of my sins as a child. Ella is also a Spirited Child. I hear very frequently, she looks just like her Daddy, but she sure acts like you! Yes, she does.

I am not sure whether it is because Ella is 2 1/2 or because of all of the changes happening around us, but she has been VERY naughty lately! She doesn't sleep, she has been very aggressive and she has to be clinging to me at every moment. This is unusual because she is very independant.

I started reading a book called Raising a Spirited Child. It is very insightful! She does have quite a few characteristics listed in the book. As I was reading I thought, "You have a lot of these characteristics as well." That could be why it is so frustrating to me to discipline her, we are too similar.

She is a good kid, don't get me wrong, she has just been acting out lately. It was helpful for me to learn that the characteristics that are so frustrating to me now, like her persistance and attention to detail are going to serve her very well later. It was also helpful for me to learn how to rephrase things and help her understand what she is feeling.

I am trying to engage her more and work with her personality instead of against it. If anyone has any good suggestions I am up for anything!

After implementing some of the suggestions in the book, we have had several very good days. Today we dressed up and sang and danced around. I wore my dress from my Senior Prom in high school. She loved that I was dressing up with her instead of just watching.

I know we have a long way to go, but I am glad to be getting somewhere before things REALLY change.

Worry

I can't sleep. That's not unusual for me. I am a nocturnal creature, I work nights and I have a two year old. Bad combination! Lately I have been having trouble sleeping because I have been worrying so much about where we are going to go, whether we will have jobs and a home, whether we will make new friends, whether we can handle this whole thing called life without knowing a soul in the new place, you know the little things. :)

This worry has consumed me and has been driving my life lately. On Sunday I realized that I was being ridiculous and that there was no reason to be worrying. I don't usually give up things for Lent, but I just felt like this time God was telling me to give up worrying. Sounds simple, right? Made sense to me, I mean the whole point of Lent is to turn to Him when we don't have the strength to handle things on our own and to remember the sacrifice that He made for us. I thought well Sister, what can it hurt? Worrying about things right now sure isn't changing anything. I decided this on my way to work and suddenly just felt a peace about the whole situation.

And then a funny thing happened. Monday Jimmie started to recieve calls and emails from different people around the country. We went from not knowing anything for months, to having several possibilites in one day! At that moment I knew that I was definitely not in control! I felt like God was saying to me, "Hey You, the one who likes to be in control, yes you! I've got this thing covered. You don't have to worry about it anymore! Calm down and rest a bit. I will take care of you. I have thought of things that you don't even know to ask for." How humbling...

So tonight here I sit. Awake, but for a different reason. I am now excited and thinking about all of the possibilities. We still don't know exactly what we will be doing, but that's ok. We may do something that neither of us planned on from the beginning. That's the funny thing about God. He knows what we need even before we ask for them. He takes care of all those things and more. So tonight, I choose not to worry!