Latest Ellaisms

So I have not been doing a great job with the blogging challenge. However, I have been posting more this month than I have in a long time, so I would call that a success.

Today is Aubrey's 11 monthiversary. Yes, I made that word up. I like it and I'm going to keep using it! I should be posting about her and showing a picture of her in her 11 month decal ready to take on the world. However, my camera broke last week and I am going to have to take a picture on Friday when my new one comes. What I will tell you is that she took her first steps today! BIG GIRL! I wish I could slow down time, but it is also so wonderful to see her grow and change.

So, since I will be posting this weekend on Aubrey I will post today on Ella. It's been quite awhile since I shared Ellaisms. She still says funny things, but now it is a lot less about saying the wrong words and more about her creativity.

This girl knows how to work the system. She wanted to stay up late and watch a movie. When I told her no, she said, "Mommy, we could watch Harry Potter and snuggle on the bed and eat popcorn." If it were her dad she would have said "Daddy, we could watch Lord of the Rings and hang out and eat popcorn." It got a good laugh and she gets an "A" for effort, but didn't work as she planned. She had to go to bed without watching a movie.

Tonight was one of her funnier moments in a long time. I am in the Christmas Concert at my church and our director gave us each a CD to practice with. Daddy had to work late tonight so we took dinner to him and drove home to get in bed somewhere close (not really) to bedtime. I turned the CD on and started singing along. All of a sudden I hear howling coming from the back seat. I turned around and looked at Ella and she said "Puppy wants to sing along too!" We spent the next 20 minutes "singing" together. It was so sweet and so funny at the same time. I love her imagination!

She is such an interesting combination of Jimmie and me. She is very creative and imaginative, but at the same time very inquisitive and analytical. She will say "Tell me everything that you know about..." and quiz you about it when you are finished. The next moment though, she will be immersed into some other world and expect you to play along. If she is playing a repeat character I can usually jump right in and play along. Sometimes though, she starts pretending and I either don't recognize her characters or am too distracted to remember them. This causes chaos and frustration for both of us. I always have to be on my game with her. She is a firecracker! This fantasy can be very confusing for her very sweet, very literal friend Luke. He says "Ella, are you pretending?" and she looks at him straight faced and says "No, I'm really...(Ariel, Ron Weasley, Rapunzel)." I then have to turn to him and whisper "She is pretending". He then grins and plays along too. They are very good for each other! She makes him think outside the box and he grounds her. It's a win-win :)

She is loving preschool and has the two most amazing teachers! You can tell that they love their job and the kids. Preschool teachers do not get paid enough! Anyway, not surprisingly she just fit right into preschool. She goes to the preschool at our church and it is the perfect fit for her. It has just the right balance of exploration and creative play. She is meeting other kids her age and is learning to compromise and play with others. Her teachers had wonderful and kind things to say about her. Many of her strengths are mentioned above. They said she loves to do any activity as long as she can do it with her friends. That's my girl :) She does have some trouble playing when things don't go exactly as she expects them to or when she thinks that someone is wrong. That's Jimmie's girl :)

Both of our girls require an enormous amount of physical and emotional energy, but man, I wouldn't change them for anything. I love their fun and spunky personalities. Jimmie and I just keep saying that we are excited to see how these strong personalities are going to grow with them. I hope that we can continue to nurture Ella's creativity AND her inquisitive nature. I spent much of my life feeling very different from those around me. I want Ella to know that that's ok. I don't want her to change for the people around her. Hopefully we can help her become the best Ella she can be. It's sure going to be a fun ride!

I must leave you with this because I laughed out loud when I saw this on my camera. This picture has been floating around Pinterest. http://cynthiawc.posterous.com/what-i-feel-like-when-i-run-what-i-really-loo

I always laugh out loud when I see it, so imagine my delight when I found this on my camera:

A Good Mother

So I was trying to be good and slide in under the wire on tonight's topic for NaBloPoMo, but the site is down, so I can't get the writing prompt for tonight. I do remember looking at it last night and it was something about balancing family and work and such, so here are my thoughts on being a Mom.

Moms (and women in general) are much too hard on themselves. We expect ourselves to be superheroes. From the moment that we find out we are pregnant every decision we make involves another human being, what we eat, how much we sleep, the activities that we do. We feel guilty for everything, when we are at work we feel guilty for not being with our kids, when we are at home we feel guilty for not getting more work done. When we go to the gym we feel like we are being selfish for taking time away from our kids and when we are at home we feel guilty for not exercising more! When we are playing with our kids we feel guilty for not cleaning up the house, and when we are cleaning the house we feel guilty for making them play alone.

Now I am not stupid. I do know that there are some incredibly crappy moms out there. I have seen them in the hospital and you can already tell on the day that their babies are born that they better change their priorities or they are not going to take very good care of their babies. It is disheartening to see moms that do drugs or have other unhealthy behaviors that can have babies so easily and have 7 babies that have all been taken away from them, especially when there are women out there who so desperately want to be a mommy and have done everything right, but can't conceive or have had disrupted adoptions. That is a topic for another day though. The point is, I know there are bad moms out there.

What I am going to talk about is what makes a good mom. A good mom loves her kids and wants the best for them. Sometimes that means she gets the amazing privilege of staying home full time with them. Sometimes that means she works outside of the home so that they will have food on the table or clothes or a warm house to live in. Sometimes she works outside of the home because it makes her a better mom when she is at home.

I have things that I believe in strongly and do for my girls, but know that those decisions are not for everyone. I am a Breastfeeding Educator and obviously think that is important. I encourage my patients to breastfeed but realize that this is not realistic for every mom. I think that a good mom feeds her baby, either by breastfeeding or formula feeding, or by giving homemade baby food or store bought baby food. I think a good mother puts diapers on her baby's bottom and changes them often. That could mean that she uses cloth diapers or it could mean that she uses disposables.

A good mother reads to her children often! A good mother encourages creativity and curiosity. Some moms know that they can teach their children the best and choose to teach them at home. Some moms know that school teachers can teach their children the best and choose to send them to school outside of the home. A good mom knows her children and knows that the option that she chooses for her first child may not be what works for her younger children. A good mom finds every opportunity she can to teach and guide her children.

There are so many controversial topics surrounding motherhood and child rearing. Why do we feel the need to compete with one another? What gives us the right to impose our beliefs about parenting onto another mother? Why can we not just encourage and support each other instead of tearing each other down or trying to compare our children's accomplishments?

We can never truly understand what another mother is going through unless we get to know each other. Instead of looking down on someone because you think they are making poor decisions what would happen if we actually tried helping each other out? What if instead of saying, "Wow that mom does not have it all together. She is yelling at her kids and they are so unruly!" we offered to watch our girlfriend's kids so she can go to the store by herself. It may be the only quiet time she gets for the week! It could be that she's yelling at them because she is so tired that she is working all the time at home and outside of the home and she is still worried that she won't have enough money to buy groceries.

It's time that we stop trying to compete with one another and start helping each other out. A lot of moms are really lonely and tired. They love being a mom and they love their kids, but they get isolated because they don't have time to hang out with friends anymore and they also need someone to understand and encourage them.

The other thing we need to do is give ourselves a little bit of grace. Being a mother requires a huge amount of emotional and physical energy! We make up stories, wipe bottoms, change diapers, make meals, nurse babies, dress up, make up games, schedule and go to appointments, take kids to school, help them with their homework and the list goes on and on! Those are just the things that we do when we are with our children. On top of that a lot of us work outside of the home and have other responsibilities there. We must realize that we can't do everything and that taking care of ourselves is just as important as taking care of our children.

Pumpkin and Apple Picking

One of my favorite things about Connecticut, and one that I will miss very much when we leave is the abundance of fun things to do outside here, especially in the fall. Being from Oklahoma I had never really gone apple picking or pumpkin picking. We LOVE going out to Lyman Orchards.

There is something so satisfying about picking your own food. It is a real treat and so much fun. In fact we may go for one last trip tomorrow after Ella gets out of school because we finished off about 20 lbs of apples in 2 weeks! My girls really enjoy apples! I didn't even use them for any baking projects this time, they love them that much. It's really a shame since I have an entire Pinterest board dedicated to my apple picking bounty ;) I am glad that they like eating them as fruit though, instead of covered in sugar and flour! Aubrey likes them so much that she was headfirst in the bag when we got home. We turned around and she literally had her head down in the bag chewing on the apples. I had to put the bag up on the buffet because we kept finding apples with four little teeth marks in them!

We have gone to the orchard several times already. The last time we went with our sweet friend Maria. We picked both apples and pumpkins this time. I put Aubrey in the Ergo and we loaded up the stroller with pumpkins.

We were also able to take some pictures of the girls. There was some screaming and crying and squeezing of one sister, but overall it went pretty well and I was able to get a few good shots at least. Happy Fall!

Bathtime!

My girls LOVE bathtime! It is such an improvement from earlier this year when Aubrey screamed bloody murder if you put her anywhere near the water. I think she started to like it because she adores her sister and who has a blast in the tub.

Ella asked today if they could take an early bath. I always give them a bath on Sunday, Tuesday and Thursday nights because Ella has school the next day and on Saturday nights because we have church on Sunday mornings. Sometimes they get a bath on the in-between days, but those are just bonus baths.

I am sitting in the bathroom with Ella as she plays with her toys in the water. We have been in here for at least 45 minutes. Her sister is now taking a nap. Aubrey has had two baths since we started. She got the second one because she peed on the floor when I was getting her clothes and diaper ready. Yes, a better, more prepared mother would have had them ready before they got in the bath, but I didn't today. I'm cutting myself some slack because I am so tired! I have already warmed the water up once because it was ice cold. Bathtime is good, clean (pun intended), creative fun that does not involve modern technology. I have been transported to far away lands to dine with princesses, had fashion shows, made up stories and learned many new songs about mermaids and other water dwelling creatures. I feel blessed that my girls like taking baths so much, so I will sit in here with her as long as she wants to play or decides she is too pruney!

My friend Sarah and I are in the process of gathering information to write a book about things we never thought we would say before we had children. Between the two of us we have 5 girls between the ages of  ten months to nine years. We were both blessed to have varying degrees of "spirited", fairly independent children, so you can probably imagine that we often say or hear very funny things. Today was no exception. While giving my girls a bath today I uttered these gems: "Stop trying to pee on your sister!" as well as "Get your bottom off of your sister's head!"

I have to admit that I can never, ever say that my house is boring. I love my job of being a mommy to these two silly, fun, (mostly) sweet girls!

November 3 and November 4th

So three days into the exercise and I already missed a day! I was pretty busy yesterday cleaning and doing 10 loads of laundry. Yes, you read that correctly, 10. That included diaper laundry, but man I was behind. I still have several loads left and then I have to put them all away :(

Anyhow, I kept thinking I will sit down and write a post and then nighttime came and it was time for work. So here we are today, having had 2 1/2 hours of sleep in the last 34 hours. Hopefully this post will make a little sense, as my brain is a little muddled.

November 3
Can you listen to music and write? What song did you hear today?

That really depends on my mood, amount of sleep and level of distractedness (not sure if that is a real word). I love music, all different kinds. I have at least 20 different stations on Pandora, ranging from Ingrid Michaelson to Vampire Weekend with some Cake, Queen, Josh Groban and Point of Grace mixed in there.

If I am trying to write something for fun I like listening to music with lyrics, but if I am doing something more serious it has to be lyric free. If I am really distracted or tired and trying to complete something, I have to turn the music off all together!

I heard many songs today, but currently I am listening to Diego sing about dinosaurs (not my first choice, by the way).

November 4
When you are writing do you prefer to use a pen or the computer?

I prefer using a pen, hands down! I LOVE using a pen and paper. I feel like I can be more creative. I am also a big fat nerd that really enjoys making lists just so that I can cross them off.

I love the beginning of school when school supplies go on sale. I love new notebooks and pens. I am  kind of picky about my pens. They have to feel right and I like different pens depending on the thickness of the paper, for example, I like a certain pen for writing in notebooks, and another for writing on loose paper. I need help, I know!

Because I know most of you are just coming to my blog to see cute pictures of the girls and not to hear my rambling thoughts, I will post a few cute pics.

Here is Ella with her friend Pearl at a carnival about a month and a half ago. They are silly girls and have a lot of fun together!

Daddy and his sweet girl at one of our favorite spots in New Haven, East Rock Ridge.

Mommy and her sweet girl on East Rock Ridge.

I turned around and found both girls in the same box in the living room. I'm sure glad they like each other!

Day 2 of NaBloPoMo

Well this is kind of cheating, because I just wrote Day 1's post less than two hours ago, but technically it is November 2nd and I am up feeding a baby, so here goes:

If you knew that whatever you ate next would be your last meal, what would you want it to be?

Well that's a little sad, don't you think? I don't know that I would want to know that my next meal would be my last, but I will play along and answer the question.

I would eat only dessert. Cake, the kind with beautiful, colorful, tasty buttercream icing. Whipped icing will not do. I would eat cookies: chocolate chip and sugar cookies with more of that scrumptious buttercream frosting. I would eat candy: skittles, now and laters, sour patch kids. I would drink Dr Pepper (the real kind, not Mr. Pibb).

Wow. That's making my stomach hurt and my head spin, just writing it! Maybe I should include some artichoke hearts and a big salad with strawberries, blueberries, chicken, almonds, parmesan cheese and raspberry dressing. Mmmm...that sounds good. Maybe I should make that now!

What would you eat for your last meal?

Months Nine and Ten

Did you catch that? Months NINE and TEN? Where in the world has this year gone?

Month Nine brought lots of new sounds and lots of movement! 

Aubrey learned how to cruise around the furniture followed very quickly by crawling. She is Little Miss Independant! When she wants something, she goes for it. While we are on the subject of wanting something, it should probably be made very clear that this one knows what she wants and when she wants something she wanted it YESTERDAY! She has learned to make noise and use signs in order to get what she wants. Food is a huge motivator for this little one. 

She can recognize and point to Mommy, Daddy, Sister, Max and Stanley. She even pointed to Nonna on the computer. She will say "Mamamama" for me and "Dadada" for Jimmie. She says "Eh" for Ella. 

She loves her dogs and she loves her sister. All three are fairly tolerant of her, but I have a feeling those days are numbered :) We have had many a discussion on "soft touch". I may have to pull out the "Pat Them Gently" book given to me at one of Ella's baby showers by a good friend.

She is a delight most of the time and most people say "Isn't she the most easy going baby?" to which I reply, "Yes, she sure is now, we are very blessed!" It really is the truth. I had heard that colicky babies turn into the most pleasant little people. She sure fits that mold.

Month Ten

And we're off! This one NEVER.STOPS.MOVING. EVER!

You turn around and she is in another room, in the trashcan, pulling things out of the cabinets, scavenging for food or other treasures. She is FAST! She is so incredibly close to walking. She stands up on her own and will take some steps while you hold her fingers. She will almost take steps in between things, but gets scared and sits down.

Everything goes into her mouth, including that decal you see pictured above. In keeping with the theme of most of the months before, this girl loves her food. She will eat anything and is starting to have preferences about what she likes. We are pretty much giving her most everything that we eat these days (minus anything with nuts or honey in it). It is kind of nice not to have to make a lot of baby food, because with Jimmie working ALOT and me working a couple nights of week I haven't had as much time to make food this time around. When we go out I have started giving her applesauce and those Ella's Kitchen packets from Target, something I never did with Ella.

The most surprising thing about this girl is her sense of humor. She is really funny! I never remember Ella trying to be silly like Aubrey does. She really wants to make us smile and laugh. She really really wants to make Ella smile and laugh, which she usually does.

She LOVES her sister. It is so incredibly sweet. She loves to take baths with her. She gets really excited if you talk about taking a bath or take her clothes off in the bathroom. She splashes around and plays with Ella. She also really really likes standing up in the bathtub. That stresses me out.

She has become such a delight and I am so blessed to have both of my sweet girls in my life!

NaBloPoMo

Well, inspired by my friend Tara, I have decided to participate in National Blog Posting Month or NaBloPoMo! I would really like to get back into my blogging, and not just for sharing fun stories about the girls, but to express myself as well!

The prompt for today is: What is your favorite part about writing?

I would have to say being able to say things without anyone interrupting me! I have two little people at my house and rarely get to finish a complete thought. I go on play dates and my friends and I have very broken, interrupted conversations, the kind where you have to regroup every few moments because you forgot what you were talking about. I love my girls, don't get me wrong, but it is nice to be able to sit in a quiet, dark house for a few minutes at night and just think like an adult.

I am excited about getting back into my blogging. We are in another transition phase at our house. It seems both so recently and such a long time ago that we were in the same frame of mind, not knowing where we were going to be or what we would be doing. Jimmie has sent his applications out to so many schools and we are both anxiously waiting to hear back. He is doing remarkably well, but I know that he is so ready to find out something, anything! He has worked so incredibly hard for the last 6 1/2 years! I am so proud of him and want him to get the job that fits him the best. Hopefully this will be the last time that we will be waiting like this. We want to finally get settled. For most of our marriage we have been in transition. In Kansas we were able to get settled and truly loved our life there, but in the back of our minds knew that we had to move on. Connecticut has been a different story all together. We are (hopefully) only here for two years. The first year was an absolute roller coaster ride. We couldn't even think about anything outside of our house and our little family for a very long time. Now that things have calmed down a bit and we have gotten involved in our church, we are getting a little more settled and I think we are really going to miss our friends here!

So anyway, I'm hoping that I can chronicle the transition to the next phase of our life. Hopefully it will be the settled phase and hopefully it will be many miles closer to Oklahoma and our families than we are right now.

Ella interview before Preschool

After seeing this cute idea on Pinterest, I thought I would give it a shot and interview Ella the day before preschool. Here are my questions and her responses, exactly as she answered.

1. What is your favorite show? "Uh...Dora"
2. What is your favorite color? "Hmm...All the colors in the rainbow and all of the colors of the world!"
3. What is your favorite thing to eat? Peas! (This one was news to me)
4. What is your favorite book? Book to read? Yes, Ella, book to read. Oh, ok. The Animal Alphabet.
5. What is your favorite thing to play with? Polly Pockets and Dolls. Avery is my favorite dolly.
6. What do you think school is going to be like? I think I'll draw pictures and stuff like that. I think I will eat snacks and play games, like board games.
7. What is your favorite treat? My favorite treat is candy! Chocolate chips!
8. How are you feeling about going to school? I feel worried, a little bit nervous. I feel eckskyted a little bit.
9. What is making you nervous? Um, making new friends.
10. What are you excited about? I'm eckskyted about what I am going to do at school, just not about making new friends.
11. What is your favorite thing to do? I like to play 'I'm the Mommy' and Doctor (yes she does!)
12. What is your favorite movie? Ratatouille, I like rats (that is honestly what she said)
13. What is your favorite season? Uh...Fall! Why? Because it has colorful leaves and I like colors and because I get to go trick or treating and I like tricks and I like treats.
14. What do you want to be for Halloween? A kitty!
15. What are you going to wear on the first day of school? The same dress I wanted (we already picked out her clothes) orange, orange, orange dress.

Pretty cute! Hopefully I can continue to do this every year along with her first day of school picture. She then turned the tables on me and asked me a bunch of questions and scribbled down my answers in a notebook with an orange crayon. Here are a few examples. I didn't answer how she wanted me to at first, as you can see:

1. What is your favorite thing to do? Play with my girls.2. What is your favorite thing to sleep on? My green blanket. No, no, no! What is your favorite thing to sleep on that is big and soft? I see, you mean my bed? Yes! Very good mommy!
3. What is your favorite thing to change that is a person? Do you mean Aubrey? Yes. Very good!

Daily Dose of Ella

My Ella is something special. She is strong willed, she is energetic, she is inquisitive. She loves to learn new things. Her new favorite thing to ask is "why is (whatever she is wondering about) called (whatever she is wondering about)". Usually I don't have any idea, I don't know why oceans are called oceans or horses are called horses. I'm not of the "make it up" camp, so I usually tell her when I don't know. She has started saying, "Well do you think you might even have a guess Mom? Think about it a little bit." She is always thinking and analyzing the world around her. Because of that, often I forget that she is just 4! Some days she acts so grown up, like the other day when she came in while I was making dinner and asked for a plate. I got her a plate and then she came back asking for another one and then repeated the cycle again. I thought she was using them to play with and asked her why she needed so many plates and she said "I'm just setting the table mom." She set the table without being asked! She followed that shortly with a fit of some sort and got sent to time out and I remembered that she was still a little kid.

She has recently learned how to play soccer. She really enjoys it. It was funny to watch her learn how to play. Our friend Stephanie taught her the correct way to kick a ball. She resisted kicking it with the side of her foot for a long time and then just decided that it was easier. The other day I overheard her teaching one of the neighborhood kids (that is at least five years older than her) how to kick the ball.

The other thing that is huge for us this week is that she has learned how to ride her bike! I haven't had a chance to take a picture of her on it, but she looks so grown up with her helmet on riding her bike with training wheels! She was so excited to show Daddy what she had learned. I'm hoping she can start riding her bike when we go running or for a walk around the neighborhood. She loves it. I am glad she is learning how to channel some of that crazy energy that she has!

She is fascinated by animals and insects and the world around her. We check out movies and books from the library on various subjects and learn about them more in depth. When Granny and Papa visited us a few weeks ago they took us to the Boston Aquarium and on a whale watching tour. It was really fun and Ella really enjoyed it. Now I get to answer lots of questions about Humpback whales and Blue whales and various other whales that she has studied. I often feel like I know nothing, but then have to remember that she is just excited and ready to learn about everything around her. Things that I may have known about once upon a time are brand new to her.

Her other new favorite thing to talk about is Spiders. We have several living on our porches that we have just let live there and make webs. It has been interesting to watch them grow. I think I'm going to have to start doing research so I can answer her questions!

The thing that I have most loved watching is her in her role of sister. She loves her sister so much. She is so helpful when I need things and tries to fill Aubrey's many many needs. She entertains her and soothes her and just plain makes that girl laugh. Aubrey has started imitating Ella (which is both good and bad). It really makes my day when one of them starts giggling and the other joins in until they are both shaking with laughter. It makes me hopeful that someday they will have the special relationship that I have with my sisters.

It is so much fun watching my sweet girl grow and learn about the world around her and accomplish new things. She is so fun and full of life!

Time is flying by!

I am embarrassed that my last post was her 5 month post!

At six months Aubrey was already proving to us how much of a mover she is. She scooted around everywhere and never sat still. She ate just about anything that you put in front of her and she wanted to do it BY HERSELF!!!!

At seven months she learned how to sleep in her OWN BED in her OWN ROOM! The heavens rejoiced on that one! She also learned how to sign "more" which she has now stopped using because she has found that banging on the table gets her what she wants as well. We could title this month "A Healthy Appetite" because she loves everything that you put in front of her. She doesn't care about textures or flavors or anything. She thinks that if you are eating it she needs to be as well. It's a good thing she is such a mover...

Which brings me to Aubrey's eighth month, the one which we will title "I've Got Places to Go". This kid can MOVE. She does not sit still. She can climb steps. She stands up. She cruises around furniture and cabinets.

She will take some steps while holding onto your hands. She constantly flips over when changing her diaper, which I don't remember Ella doing until a few months later, and then I just started changing her diaper standing up because it was easier. It probably won't be easier this time around with the cloth. We've kind of regressed with our sleeping, but I think a lot of that had to do with Mommy going back to work. During orientation I worked 4 nights a week. I am hoping it is going to settle back down only working a shift or two a week.

And there you have it folks. Aubrey's last three months in three short paragraphs! I can't believe how fast time is whizzing by. Jimmie is finished writing his proposals and will soon be applying for jobs. I can't believe we have lived in New Haven for over a year. I can't believe that (hopefully) this time next year we will be settling into new routines in a new state. I can't believe that Ella starts school in less than a week! Sometimes I think that time has flown by and others I feel like this last year has dragged on.

It's funny how life changes and you don't even realize it until you look back. This time last year I didn't know how I would even make it. I was lonely, I missed my family and I wanted to go home (to either Kansas or Oklahoma-either home would have worked a that point). I was pregnant and scared and unsure of how I could even begin to think of taking care of 2 girls, one was difficult enough. We have gone through a lot this last year, but as Jimmie reminded me the other day, we have always had all of our needs met. When we were lonely we met good friends. When Aubrey was crying and we didn't know if we would make it to the next day those friends were there again and He provided the strength we needed to keep going. When we were running out of money and unsure of how we were even going to buy groceries, I got offered a job. When I am tired and having a bad day, when I am feeling like a horrible mother, when I am lonely and just want to go "home" if I can remember to look to the one who has consistently and abundantly provided I can usually pull myself out of my wallowing pit and face reality again. For that I am truly grateful, because time is going to continue to fly by and life is going to continue to happen.

Watch Aubrey Grow: Catch Up

As evidenced by my last post we have sort of been in survival mode. I have neglected posting the last THREE months of Aubrey pictures. In less than a week I will be taking her 6 month picture! Time has really started to fly around here.

March 17, 2011

St. Patrick's Day

Three months and one day. I don't know if you have noticed before, but I'm pretty particular about certain things. I have picked out a onsie each month that matches the colors of the decal. I try to match her headband to the decal as well. Yes, I have problems. The first step is awareness. Anyway, I put on her little matching onsie and tried to get a good picture. She was just NOT cooperating. I took her onsie off and thought, we are just going to have to try this later. As soon as I did, Ella started entertaining her and she started laughing and cooing. At that point I grabbed the sticker and stuck it on her bare chest. I think this actually may be one of my favorite pictures to date and it happened way differently than I had planned.

 April 16, 2011

Four Months

After the last month I wised up and utilized Big Sis as Chief Entertainer. I would say it worked like a charm. See if you can spot the Entertainer in one of the photos below. Aubrey is getting much more fun and we are having better and better days.

May 16, 2011

Five Months

This girl has become sooo much fun. She babbles, coos, giggles, laughs and just generally has fun most of the time. She is getting close to being able to sit up on her own. She LOVES her bouncy activity chair. She gets up on her knees and starts to rock like she wants to crawl. She is eating lots of things. She hasn't met a food she didn't like (except rice cereal by itself). More about that in a coming post :)

How I Survived the First 100 Days With a Fussy Baby

I have to admit that I used to think that mothers of babies with colic were exaggerating. I mean, all babies cry right? I thought maybe they were just easily overwhelmed or didn't tolerate crying well. How could a baby cry inconsolably for hours on end?

I have now learned first hand that yes, in fact some babies will cry for hours at a time and sometimes NOTHING will soothe them. One night she cried for SIX HOURS. There is nothing more disheartening as a mother (or father) than to hear your child cry and not be able to help them. We tried just about everything out there for "fussy babies". The thing about Aubrey was nothing consistently worked. Sometimes one thing would work for a little while and then later we would have to try something new. Here are a few tricks that I learned. Each baby is different and some, all or none of these things may work for you, but here are the things that worked (and didn't work) for us.

There are a lot of reasons why babies cry. We learned very early on that Aubrey has pretty bad Gastric Reflux. A lot of babies have reflux and don't need any treatment at all, but my girls have both needed medication. They both had trouble growing because they spit up so much. We were kind of at an advantage when it came to "reflux tricks" because Ella had it too, but to a lesser degree than Aubrey does. This girl spits up fountains sometimes. One day during one hour we counted TEN TIMES that she spit up. Her clothes get soaked and then she gets mad because she's cold.



We use A LOT of burp cloths!

The first thing that we do is we almost always keep her upright. Very rarely is she lying flat. This prevents some of the pressure on the esophageal sphincter and in theory decreases some of the spitting up. Ella slept in her swing, Aubrey sleeps in her car seat or in someone's arms. Now at almost 6 months she will sleep for a couple of hours at a time strapped in her car seat.

She slept in her carseat in the bassinet (if she would sleep at all).

  

At the beginning we were using Mylicon drops after each feeding. They work by breaking up some of that gas that babies sometimes can't pass on their own. For a while we were using two reflux medications, Zantac and Prevacid and we would sometimes use Maalox in between. Now we just use Prevacid every day and occasionally Maalox. We went to see a GI specialist who told us what Aubrey could take after he ruled out some other things. **PLEASE don't give ANYTHING to your baby until you talk to your pediatrician. Babies are so small that any medication could be very harmful to them. Drugs don't always metabolize the same way in babies and a lot of things are not recommended for infants, so it is incredibly important that you don't give them anything without discussing it with your doctor.**

I read every article that I could find out there about "colicky babies", "fussy babies" and "babies with reflux". They suggested we try motion. We tried not one, not two, but THREE swings. We paid quite a lot for one that was specially made for colicky babies called the Mamaroo.  It has about six different motions that mimic mom's movements, a white noise machine and an mp3 docking station. It got a lot of great reviews so I thought it was worth a shot. Aubrey was N.O.T. I.M.P.R.E.S.S.E.D. The Mamaroo is now a $200 white noise maker. We did find one that works pretty well, the Fisher Price Cradle n Swing.

The Mamaroo

I spent many many hours dancing and jumping and swaying around the living room in the middle of the night (and during the day because she was fussy almost all of the time). I lost a lot of weight quickly because I rarely sat down!

They said try white noise, turn the vacuum on or put baby by the dryer. Aubrey was not impressed with the dryer or the vacuum, but would quiet down when I used my hair dryer. It's really not practical to constantly use the hair dryer, nor is it really very good for their little ears. Now, as mentioned above, we use the noisemaker on the Mamaroo and strap her in the car seat. The other thing that worked remarkably well when it was colder was placing her in her seat next to the radiator. I will admit that I had times when I turned up the heat just so that she would sleep :)

I found the radiator to have magical powers

We tried swaddling her. That worked sometimes, but we usually had to be holding her belly very tightly along with the swaddling. One thing that worked fairly well was holding her upright on my knee, supporting her head and chin and patting her back while bouncing my knee. I watched many an episode of "Chopped" on Hulu while doing this little maneuver.

Sometimes I would wear her in one of my slings. She liked it (sometimes) and I got to get some work done. Some moms can nurse using the sling. We're still trying to perfect that.

Three of my slings, the blue one is a ring sling, the patterned is a Hotsling, and the black one is a Moby. The Moby is probably my favorite because it's stretchy and I can make it pretty tight.

Another thing I would try sometimes when I was desperate in the middle of the night was giving her a bath. She liked it during the bath, but would start screaming again immediately after I took her out of the water.

One thing that I found was that she was sensitive to dairy. I don't think she is truly allergic. She never had blood in her diapers, rashes, vomiting or anything else like that. However, I did certainly see a correlation between my consuming dairy products and her screaming. I am just now starting to very gradually test the waters again. She has done pretty well, so I am hoping we are nearing the end of that phase.

I never knew how many dishes contained dairy! I miss cheese and ice cream the most!

I had always said "I am never going to put my baby in front of a TV. That is just lazy!" Ella never really watched TV until she was about 2 and even then I really tried to limit it. This one really enjoys the television or anything moving on the computer. I felt guilty at first putting her in the swing and turning on "Moose Tunes" or "Praise Baby" (thank you a MILLION times Jill for that DVD). However I soon realized that I could actually get things done for 15 or 30 minutes at a time, like bathing or playing with Ella and then had to be reminded by my wonderful husband that I was holding, wearing, or sleeping right next to her for the rest of the day. She was going to survive and her brain was not going to turn to mush. :)

This is our favorite swing

Every day has been better than the one before. At one month I just cried thinking I can't do this for 2-5 more months! I don't have the energy! I would get frustrated because I would see babies younger than her on a schedule or sleeping much better. Being tired makes everything amplified. 

I learned a few things:

1) God really isn't going to give you more than you can handle, even if it truly feels like it!

2) In the midst of it all I didn't even realize how tired I was. I look back now and wonder how I was even functioning. 

3) I learned how to give myself some grace, something I am NOT good at all. I want to do everything, and do it well! Sometimes you just can't and I painfully learned to be OK with that.

4) I saw God in all of the people around me. Our small group was so patient, kind and helpful. That was really important with our families so far away. My mom and dad get a special shout out. We took several trips home while she was so bad and they were so incredibly patient and would take Aubrey so I could catch a little sleep. My friend Sarah did the same when we visited her in Kansas. She had three of her own girls to tend to, but would watch mine so I could sleep an hour or two. One of the most powerful things to me during this time and even now, was my Dad writing to me in a note, "Please know that when you are having a bad day, we are here praying for you." The one that surprised me most and made my heart the most happy was Ella. She is so patient, kind and loving to her sister, even when she is screaming her head off.

5) The baby that I thought was never going to calm down is now a generally happy baby. She still cries, but all babies cry. The difference is it is not a high pitched, clawing at whoever is holding her, arching her back kind of cry. Now she cries when she needs something. I can handle that! 

6) I can't compare my situation with anyone else's. Every baby and every family is unique. Everyone is going to meet milestones at different times, and that's OK.

In some asian cultures families celebrate their baby's 100th day. Jimmie and I said if we made it to 100 days and everyone was still alive and sane we would have a party. Aubrey's 100th day happened to fall on a Friday, the day that we meet for small group. Our small group very graciously humored us and we had a little "100 Days" party.

The "spread" for our 100 Days Party. I may have gone a little overboard, but we were just so happy we made it that far we wanted to celebrate!

I don't know if this was helpful to anyone else, but I would surely hope that I can at least pass on a little of what I learned so maybe something that worked for me will help someone else out! If you are reading this in the middle of the night while your baby is clawing at you and you have tried everything and you feel like you can't go on, be encouraged that it does get better. Try to take care of yourself as much as you can. Pass the baby off to someone else, even if it is just to go for a walk by yourself for a little while. Sometimes those few minutes can be exactly what you need to recharge and be ready to give everything to that tiny little person. Even though right now it might seem like an eternity away, not too far down the road that tiny little person is going to start smiling and cooing and giggling at you. Though you most definitely will not forget the months before you will be able to look ahead with some hope and realize "wow, you are so special and I am so glad I get to share this life with you."